Be Intentional about your Rest

When we think of rest we tend to think of “rest day,” which is a day where we don’t workout, but doesn't necessarily mean that it’s a day where we are allowing ourselves to be fully rejuvenated. Our rest day may be a break from training but we still have obligations, commitments and responsibilities that technically keep us active. So when do you get to rest? You can’t put constant demands on your body and not provide it with the important things it needs in return. I’ve come to realize that the “no days off'' mentality is not an unhealthy practice. You can push yourself all you want, but when you don’t rest properly all you end up with is burn out. I know that I’m unproductive and uncreative when I’m burnt out, and it impacts my work. It’s hard to show up and even harder to create content. Rest can be productive. Rest is important. Rest is necessary. And just like we take the time to learn how to work; it’s equally important that we learn how to rest. 

Know when you need rest 

How do you know when you need rest? It may sound like a hard question to answer but the signs are usually pretty telling.  You can tell when you need rest when you start seeing some of the signs of fatigue. The ways that I can tell I need rest is when it’s hard to focus, my appetite feels off, and my motivation isn’t there. It’s hard to imagine how I used to think those small gaps between burnouts were rest. Do we even know what 100% rest even feels like? It isn’t something that comes overnight; sometimes it doesn't even come from one night’s sleep. 

So if that’s what I look like without it, how do I know when I’m rested? I know that I’m rested when my cup is full. My cup is full when my mood isn’t all over the place, when I can focus, when I feel creative and have fun with the things that I am creating. I’m unproductive when I’m feeling burnt out. But how would you ever know when your cup is full if you never take the time to intentionally fill it? Rest can look different for everyone. You have to learn what it takes to refill your cup. 

Learn to Rest Properly

In order to learn how to rest properly, you need to know exactly what it is you need rest from. There have been times when I’ve just felt  so overwhelmed and exhausted, so I took a break from social media for about a week. Even after coming back from that break, I still felt so tired and drained. 

One of the biggest mistakes of rest is that we often don’t actually know what we truly need rest from. Sometimes we take breaks from things that we think are draining us because we haven’t gotten to the root cause of our exhaustion. In this particular case, I didn't really need a break from social media; honestly, I’ve curated my social media timelines to be filled with inspiration, motivation & creativity. But in fact, what I really needed a break from was making decisions. You don’t realize how many options we are presented with on a daily basis, options that we have to make a decision about. Decision fatigue is real. Working a full time job and a part-time hustle, I end up having to make a lot of decisions in a day’s time, in addition to decisions in my personal life. Just having periods of time where I’m not being presented with options that I have to select from is freedom of my mind. Another thing I’ve noticed that I’ll need a rest from is being accessible. The cellphone has made people instantly accessible and just about everyone has one. We’ve become conditioned to believe that people should always be available to us at the push of a button. So while taking a break from social media can cut down on likes/comments/DMs, there are still ways that we may be too accessible via texts, calls and FaceTimes. Take note of what you truly need rest from in order to take your rest properly. 

Protect your rest by having boundaries 

Create boundaries around the ways that you need to rest, so that you can properly take it. In order to rest from being accessible, I set boundaries on when I’m available to receive calls or messages. On Saturday mornings, I limit access to me until about 11:00am, where I don’t take calls or respond to texts, unless it’s an emergency. That simple boundary just allows me to start my morning as slowly or as productively as I need it to without distraction. 

A mistake we often make is not properly communicating boundaries to people to properly get our rest. It’s important to make it clear what you are and are not available for. The people in your life should not want you to feel run down; they will  want you to feel rested & rejuvenated. You may have to adjust your boundaries with people who are preventing you from being your best through your rest. People constantly putting their energy on you can be so draining; the ones who respect you will respect your boundaries. Protect the space & time you need to refill your cup. 

Rest with Intention

Take that time to pause; actually take a break from the things you need rest from. Your rest refills your cup. One mistake when it comes to rest is not knowing what it actually feels like to be rested. This past year alone really showed me the biggest difference in what I thought rest was and what I truly need to feel truly rested. Your rest isn’t just something that you do. Rest is a state being; it’s a break, a pause. So you have to ask yourself: what does it mean for me to be rested? You should know what it takes for you to feel that rested state. What does being rested feel like or look like to you? For me, being rested means having space for clarity. My rest is having space in my schedule, in my time, and in my mind to fully feel and address my thoughts and emotions. Understand what you need to feel rested.

I think sometimes we only value our days in the accomplishments that we’re able to check off our to-do. I honestly used to be the same way, but it’s time to detach from society’s idea of productivity and start to define it for yourself. Even when you don't accomplish everything on your daily to-do list, you still can have a rewarding day. We have to reframe what we view as productivity. Stop measuring productivity in how many tasks you can check off of a list; start measuring productivity in how full your cup feels. Your rest is productive.

Rest is going to look different for everyone. For some people it might be a clear calendar; for others it might be a good time out, where you don’t have any responsibilities. Even the way rest looked for you in the past may be different from how rest looks now. I don’t necessarily want to be booked and busy anymore; I want to be responsibly scheduled and well rested. So make sure you get the rest you need. Be intentional about refilling your cup. Remember: your rested self is your best self.